I will tell her to find her passion and to pursue it with gusto. This doesn’t always appear the day we set foot on this planet but there are clues from the day we start growing into our authentic selves or it will reveal itself to her slowly and surely, and when it does, to nurture it, cherish it and make it into her life’s work.
I have seen so many girls turned away from their passion by concerned parents, jealous friends or well-meaning educators, to choose instead to study or learn “something that will pay the bills”. I get it, I really do but do we want our daughters to live joyously, turning something they love into a business or a career, or do we simply want them to live an ordinary life?
I will tell her to love herself, unconditionally and unapologetically. No I don’t mean the vanity of staring into a mirror and admiring her good bits. I will tell her that self love is a journey of self discovery, a life’s work. But that when we achieve it, our confidence soars and we can live life authentically.
I will tell her never to look for love in the eyes of another until she has learned the art of self love. If she does this the wrong way round, she will always end up with a love that fills her gaps instead of finding a love that enhances her life.
I will tell her to find her tribe. Identify and keep close only those people who make her happy, whose company nourishes her, challenges her and enables her to grow. I will tell her to surround herself only with people who love her for herself and not who they want her to be.
I will tell her to embrace her mistakes, as these are the places where the most valuable lessons are learned.
I will tell her to identify the things that make her laugh or smile and that feed her soul. This could be music, dancing, running, travel, or reading. But once she knows the things that bring her joy, I will tell her to make it her duty to fill her everyday with as much of these things as she can.
I will tell her to make choices. I know we can have much in our lives but to attempt to “have it all” will simply frustrate and annoy her. I will tell her that she has to make choices and by understanding what’s truly important to her and making time for those things, her life will be simpler and it will make more sense.
I will tell her that happiness is a choice, one we make each and every day and that by choosing happiness she will attract more into her life.
I will tell her to practice gratitude, as the more time she spends thanking the universe for what she already has, the more abundance she will attract into her life.
I will tell her to always believe that each and every adversity can be overcome as long as she believes that, the more she can fashion the life she wants for herself.
I will tell her that she is the creator of her own destiny. I will tell her to trust this wisdom because until she believes it with all of her heart, she will always be someone else’s puppet, blowing in the wind of uncertainty.
I will tell her to take responsibility for her choices and that when one is not working out, that she has the power and the right, to change her mind, to adjust her course.
I will tell her that she is beautiful, strong and worthy of everything her heart desires – and I will tell her that she has to believe this with all her heart if she is to find the courage and the strength to design her own life.
I will tell her to glory in her being and to enjoy her body. Yes it is but a vehicle but what joy can it bring through touch and movement and love, sex and dance!
And lastly I will tell her to be selfish – because society tells us to be unselfish and to serve and whist I believe it’s great to give – she will only have the power and strength to serve the world, once she has learned to serve herself.
These are the wisdoms I have learned and which have served me well.
This is what I will tell my daughters and my sons.