Siobhan Harper-NunesBalance

I love my husband I really really do but he’s not one for praise. In fact it’s fair to say I can count the compliments over the past 30 years on one hand! Last year he mentioned he thought my eyes were pretty, but this is the man that didn’t even notice I’d painted our bedroom red, for 5 months!!!

That said, I’m grateful to him in many ways as I have had to learn to praise myself.

I was pondering on something I did recently, it was a really big proposal and it actually took me 3 weeks of research, writing and rewriting, costings , I even threw in a Gantt chart! The trouble with most things I do is that there is always the thing I could have done better but it’s done, I’ve sent it off and I wanted to shout from the rooftops: “Siobhan that was awesome!!!”

That feeling also applies to those little tiny things like yesterday having sent the report; I cleaned out the laundry room (it’s been bugging me for weeks) so gloves on bin bags at the ready and attack! An hour later there were 2 bags ready to go to the dump and me feeling so very proud of myself. But let’s face it no one cares, certainly not my children or hubbie, just me. But aren’t I the only person whose praise really counts?

“Siobhan that was awesome!”

Even today I found the time before work to do my 30 minute yoga practice and I wanted to say: “Well done Siobhan – that was awesome!”

Maybe it’s just me that needs this kind of praise. It’s not as though I didn’t get it as a child but the trouble with my Dad was he’d praised me for just turning up so I stopped listening to him. Interestingly there is a body of thought that says praise from outside: parents, teachers, are actually manipulative forces, encouraging us to excel in the things others (not ourselves) feel are important (see article below).

Anyway point of this rambling is that we have to learn to praise ourselves when we’ve done something that we’re proud of. It’s not always that big report, sometimes it’s the little things that we’ve struggled with that are praise worthy but no one cares about but us.

I think self praise is the most important praise of all.

It’s a sign that we know what is valuable TO US and US only and those things, sometimes those tiny little things are the most important things, especially to the woman or man who is designing their own lives , there way!

So today Siobhan, you are my shero! You’re absolutely awesome!!!

“Good job!” Is Praising Young Children a Good idea?