DESIGNING A LIFE : 12 STEPS
BY SIOBHAN HARPER-NUNES
IN DESIGNING YOUR LIFE BE DARING BE BOLD BE CREATIVE – USE MORE COLOUR.
Many years ago I found myself trapped on a treadmill…
I was in a bureaucracy that rejected creativity, passion or new ideas.
I was earning excellent money but always in debt.
My husband and I always at each other’s throats.
My children were spoiled and needy.
I drank heavily, smoked like a trooper and took anti-depressants like they were smarties…
I was miserable.
I felt unloved.
I feel so alone.
 
I WAS A MESS!
AND THEN SOMETHING AWFUL HAPPENED…
My beloved brother Andre disappeared and that was the first tap tap tapping on the door to my awakening…

It was more that 2 years later when the police found his body buried in a remote field in Redditch. His body charred and broken into thousands of pieces as his murderers attempted to destroy any evidence of their heinous crime. It was a case of mistaken identity – TAP TAP TAP
I fell further into my seemingly bottomless depression. That was the year my heartbroken mother had her first stoke – how does a mother recover from such a thing?

Yet it was a year later, trial over when the police finally released Andre’s body for burial. That year I buried my Father AND his eldest son and, having stood at their respective gravesides, the Tap Tap Tapping became more urgent.

I finally found myself imagining my death TAP TAP TAP , standing at the side of my grave, wondering exactly what I would hear about MY life, my loves and my achievements when I died?

Finally I was awake! That year I stopped my self-destruction and started designing my life.
TIME FOR CHANGE
I wanted to create something I could feel proud to call my own…based upon: My purpose. My values. My needs. My dreams and My loves. I made a decision to be happy and to do what I love.

To do what brings me joy and satisfaction.

I stopped looking for what was missing in my life and started focusing on what I had. I stopped looking to my loved ones to make me whole – I made myself whole.

I cut some people from my life and I started looking at the ones I loved as the wonderful, beautiful flawed individuals they are…

I painted a beautiful canvas and then I STEPPED IN.

Today, I have a loving, caring marriage, I have healthy independent children that I adore, I absolutely love my job, I have money in the bank and my wealth is over and above anything I could ever have dreamed of…

But more than that with all my imperfections, I can honestly say that I am one of the happiness women I know.

Did I adopt new children? No.

Did I find a new man? No.

Did I have a complete emotional makeover? No.

I simply took a few basic steps that I would like to share with you today.

THE 12 STEPS
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In conclusion... Live each and every single day with joy, with purpose, with your values and as a woman immersed in the things that are most important to you and surrounded by the people who you admire, who you respect and who inspire you.

My transformation was not overnight – indeed I am still a work in progress. Once I dosed off and found myself having taken a wrong turn, up an unknown and unfamiliar cul-de-sac.

But I now I am pretty sure I know my way back HOME with or without a map. I have a set of rules that I created and which I am happy to follow… I gave myself permission to shine – to embrace happiness and I believe that in so doing, I am giving everyone around me the inspiration to do the same.

When designing your life use bold, bright colours, be daring, be creative, sing your song, use an enormous canvas, and step in. ENJOY!